The Status Quo is a Choice: Why we Fear Change

It’s natural for us to imagine ways in which our lives could be improved.

We ponder pursuing a more meaningful career, picking up a musical instrument, or developing new relationships. We realize there’s something not quite right in our lives and picture how it could be different.

However, doubts quickly set in. “I’ll feel like an impostor at a different job.” “Practicing guitar takes too much time.” “New friends will just end up disappointing me.”

While these fears may be valid, fear of change itself often underlies them.

In this post, I talk about why altering course seems so intimidating. Conversely, I discuss how keeping things the same poses its own risks.

Why Change is Scary

Whether we choose a new path or not, there will always be challenges in life.

But at least we understand the problems we have now. We don’t even know what issues may come up in these new adventures, let alone whether we’ll be able to handle them.

Simply put, the risks seem to outweigh the potential benefits. But sometimes we underestimate our ability to adapt to novel struggles. Furthermore, we often forget that the status quo has risks of its own.

Things Left Alone get Worse

Even if our current circumstances are manageable (or “safe”), we should not assume they will remain so.

A toxic work environment can lead to physical and mental burnout. A non-reciprocal friendship can lead to resentment if we repeatedly suppress our dissatisfaction.

Of course, we shouldn’t quit our jobs without a backup plan. And we must be respectful when drawing boundaries with friends. But sweeping things under the rug doesn’t guarantee they’ll stay there.

Missed Opportunities

Sometimes the paths we consider walking don’t seem logical. Maybe the job we’d be more passionate about has less financial security than our current one. Perhaps a new hobby has a significant time commitment, and we already feel overwhelmed.

However, it is possible that if we do not pursue these curiosities, we will eventually wonder what could have been. Such regret can decrease motivation within the present circumstance, the one we chose not to change.

And the further down the current path we go, the harder it becomes to detour. 

How Therapy for men can Help

As a psychotherapist specializing in therapy for men, my job is not to tell you what to do with your professional or personal life.

Rather, I can help you understand where your hesitancy towards change comes from, and examine the costs and benefits of maintaining your status quo.

To be clear, neither change nor sameness is always the right choice. But my goal is to give my clients the tools to make that decision from a place of confidence rather than fear.

If you’re scared of change, that doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human. If you’re willing to take an honest look at your life and see if your values are being fulfilled, I admire your courage. And if you want support in that process, I would be honoured to provide it. Please don’t hesitate to reach out.